Adventures in Lo-Fi

•September 17, 2014 • Leave a Comment

A thriving local music scene means a few things; inching ever closer to permanent hearing loss, expanded horizons and an empty bank account.

Many of the smaller venues attract those who can be a touch creative with a Sharpie.
Street art doesn’t always have to be an awesome mural on the side of a building, but we’re not talking the pervasive crap tags, oh no, here I’m going to focus on those writers who have a message, even if it is a veiny cock…

hand o dicks

The truly sublime hand-o-dicks at Bar 303

Trigonal planar? That's science bitch!

Trigonal planar at The Curtin.
That’s science bitch!

The minimalist approach to stickering for bands.

The minimalist approach to stickering in the band room at The Curtin.

Exquisite penmanship once again at The Curtin!

Exquisite penmanship once again at The Curtin!

Nice vein work on this flaccid dribbler!

Nice vein work on this flaccid dribbler!

What's not to like about the fuck you cat?

What’s not to like about the fuck you cat?

The Brunswick Rules

The Brunswick Rules

Bitches Love Triangles

Bitches Love Triangles

LootCrate – May 2014

•June 18, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Ah, LootCrate, we meet again. Have you upped your game to meet the ‘three strikes and out’ challenge?

May's Crate

May’s Crate

Legend Of Zelda shirt

The Zelda Shirt

The Zelda Shirt

There’s been a lot of love for this item online, but sadly not from me.
Having never owned a Nintendo console or indeed played any of the associated franchises, this one’s a bit of a dud.
However, I did need a cheesecloth substitute for filtering some ‘ahem’ herbal butter and this shirt did the job nicely:

Ready to strain that herbal butter!

Ready to strain that herbal butter!

It'll wash out yeah?

It’ll wash out yeah?

Nah, that won't wash out...

Nah, that won’t wash out…

I’m sure there’s probably some requirement for me to hand in my gamer credentials at this point, but I’ve always veered towards the more adult titles found on the PC or Xbox; I guess having not played Mario Cart with a group of herbally impaired friends might also damage my stoner credentials as well, but I digress.

Verdict: Recycled!

Minecraft hanger.

Although I’m late to the Minecraft party, this is pretty nifty, and will find a home near my desk.

Minecraft packaging

Minecraft packaging

Minecraft hanger - not bad!

Minecraft hanger – not bad!

Verdict: Pretty good!

Adventure Time.

I hadn’t heard of Adventure time until now, so I’m going to have to treat this on purely face value.

The box is quite nice and I’m sure could be upcycled into some kind of storage for small items, but what of the figure?

After a bit of googling it turns out I’ve got ‘Cake’ who is a ginger and white cat, well that’s a result for me as a huge cat lover, so I guess Cake has avoided a trip to the bin, and will end up on a shelf with other associated feline ephemera in my house.
Verdict: A surprise keeper!

Adventure Time box

Adventure Time box



The rest of the items however were pretty much nonstarters as they required the Wikipedia to find out what the hell they were.

Zelda Keyring

Zelda Keyring

Hmmm. Won't even be breaking the shrink-wrap on this shite.

Hmmm. Won’t even be breaking the shrink-wrap on this shite.

Stickers can go in the recycling?

Stickers can go in the recycling?

Verdict: In the bin!

I did say I’d give Loot Crate three strikes, but seeing as all the hints relating to the next offering points towards Transformers which I loathe, so I’m going to call it a day. The folks at Loot Crate make it easy to resume an account, so I may give it another chance if a tempting theme crops up.

I’m tempted to rail against the Transformers franchise, so take this onboard – the CGI wank-fest, waste of bandwidth had two redeeming features:


Bernie Mac

Bernie Mac

And this:

So tragic that this is a redeeming feature...

So tragic that this is a redeeming feature…

LootCrate – first impressions April 2014

•May 2, 2014 • Leave a Comment

As I have more than a passing interest in gaming and geek culture I took the plunge and signed up for Loot Crate.
Looking over previous crates it would appear that $30 a month may well yield some fun items, so repeat after me the Loot Crate mantra of ‘document/share/enjoy‘ and I’ll get started.

In the words of detective Mills from se7en when faced with John Doe’s last act, what’s in the box?


Well, all in all, a shit load of disappointment, my $30 produced the following in my mailbox:

  • Elder Scrolls Nord plastic figure
  • Game of Thrones random mini figure
  • d20 stress ball
  • d20
  • Dragon Jerky
  • Dragon Slayer dog tags
  • Dragon Shield screen-wipe

Elder Scrolls Online plastic Nord figure.
A Nord? Fantastic – a really shitty looking cartoony Nord. Of all the possible ES creations we get a Nord; which quite frankly is stretching the dragon theme.

Ugh. Shite Nord figure

The really poor Nord figure.

Verdict? In the bin.

Game of Thrones mini plastic figure.
Not too bad, but I end up with a dire wolf out of the 22 really good looking figures. I suppose it’s a 1 in 24 chance of getting something decent and I was unlucky.

Look! 22 decent figures out of 24.

Look! 22 decent figures out of 24.


Bad luck! Your mystery figure was a dire wolf.

Verdict? In the bin.

D20 stress ball.
It’s a reasonable novelty item and my cats like to chase it.

Two d20s. One for cats and one to choke infants with.

Two d20s. One for cats and one to choke infants with.

Verdict? The cats can have it.

Yes a d20. I wasn’t expecting duplication, especially as the dragon theme is a bit tenuous with both d20 items.
Verdict? In the bin.

Dragon jerky.
Oh delightful, processed meat products. Astonishing that it made through Customs at Melbourne, considering how strict they are about foreign meat products.

Dragon Jerky - patiently waiting to be thrown in the bin.

Dragon Jerky – patiently waiting to be thrown in the bin.

Verdict? In the bin.

Dog Tags. Yes, they really are as shot as they look.

Just horrible….

Dragon Slayer dog tags.
Just really cheap and nasty with absolutely no redeemable features. Total crap.
Verdict? In the bin.

Dragon shield screen-wipe.
Yeah, sticks to the back of your phone and peel off to use. Not exactly convienient and hardly compliments my Alex Grey case.

Dragon shied screen-wipe. Really add to 'Oversoul' don't you think?

Dragon shield screen-wipe. Really adds to ‘Oversoul’ don’t you think?

Verdict? In the bin.

$30 bought me a cat toy?
Shame on you LootCrate, I’ll give you two more chances to redeem yourself and then we’re done.

The Dark Knight Rises [Spoilers for your health]

•July 28, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Am I going to try and make light of the Dark Knight Rises shooting?
Nah, just a quick statement of facts…
According to news reports, among the hospitalised there was a four month old baby.

All I’m going to say that if a gunman hadn’t run amok, I can guarantee the movie would still have been ruined at some point, by the selfish actions of Colorado’s parents of the year.

Who in their right mind brings a fucking baby to a loud action movie? It’s not as if the sound of cinematic gunfire is known to soothe an infant to sleep is it?

The Dark Knight Rises weighs in at almost 3 hours with a fair few action packed set pieces, I’m guessing the doting parents were just hoping their offspring wasn’t going to wake up and scream the place down and disturb everyone in the near vicinity.

Seriously folks, get a bloody babysitter or don’t go to the cinema. It’s as simple as that.

No sitter? Tough shit – wait for the bluray or grab a sleazy torrent.

Oh and if you hadn’t been selfish fucks, guess what? Your baby wouldn’t be in hospital.

Lesson over.

If you want an utterly inappropriate t-shirt with the above image, I suggest you get your arse over to T-Shirt Hell before they get removed due to some handwringing public outcry!


•December 13, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Now here’s a somewhat unusual departure from the normal topics that have graced Spleen! and Judascow, an occasional trip into the kitchen to create!

Before anyone starts panicking, there’s absolutely no chance I’ll be going down the MasterChef route, no jous, no poncy stuff, just easy stuff that appeals to a sweet tooth that has been honed to a point just below that of type 2 diabetes.

The bulk of the recipes are variations on a tried and tested theme, internet sourced, but tweaked slightly in my own kitchen.

Eating sweet stuff on this site isn’t necessarily good for you and should be done in moderation, like most things which can steer you towards an early grave!
Have a regular exercise program to fall back on to offset the damage!

•December 7, 2011 • Leave a Comment

A change of graphics for the header can mean only one thing.

It’s time to change the couch I’m usually locked to!

We’re off to pastures new, so until the shipping arrives at our new home, I’m reduced to three suitcases,  MacBook & 2TB drive full of media and a miniprojector.

Currently between jobs and countries, I’m hoping for a bit of time to throw in a few more updates to the site – free wifi permitting…


It must be The Rapture, News of The World up to no good!

•July 5, 2011 • 1 Comment

Who’d have thought a Murdoch tabloid would have done something underhand and exhibited morally bankrupt tendencies?

 It’s a crazy old world we live in!

 I’m not saying for a minute that this phone hacking scandal is nothing short of an abomination, in light of the recent allegations regarding murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler, but the public outcry to boycott the News of The Screws is a predictable and tired response. I’ll go out on a limb here and suggest the attention span of your average NOTS reader:

 Ughh. Paedos. Ughh. Think of the children. Ughh. Diana.
Ughh. Boycott. Ughh. X Factor. Ughhhhhh. Cheryl Cole.

 Sure I’m guilty of stereotyping here, but I don’t really give a fuck – the redtops didn’t get to the disgusting position they’re in today by being a reliable sources of information, instead they promote ignorance and fear.

 I’d love to be proven wrong, and I’ve got a portion of Humble Pie in the fridge ready for 4:20am consumption, but my gut feeling is that in six months there won’t be a visible dent in the 2.8million readership. There may be an initial  drop in large corporate advertising clients, but that’s really damage limitation on the advertiser’s part and again in six months or so normal service will have resumed for everyone.

These companies will still need to advertise and 2.8 million fuckwits sadly have a lot of purchasing power.

Finally, the brilliant Steve Coogan on Newsnight, indulging in some amateur rectal surgery:


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